Here’s what I do while the kids are gone:

Recreational Complaining: Last weekend while I was away, something happened to my ergonomic keyboard. It got wet somehow, I think. Certain keys transposed themselves so that when I press the left shift key, I get an open parenthesis instead. Other keys are messed up, too, rendering it unusable.

The replacement won’t be here until tomorrow.

Until then, I have to type on a regular keyboard.

I. Hate. It.

Hate. It.